Snape Might've Been Harry's Father:
A Look into the Love and Life of Severus Snape

I admit that Snape was not my favorite character. Like so many other readers, I found Snape to be abrasive, bullying, nasty and just plain mean. He picked on Harry and Neville and he doted on the Slytherins. Throughout my virgin reading of the series, I knew that such an unlikeable character couldn't possibly have any redeeming qualities. I never believed that he was truly in league with old Voldy, but he was certainly not a "good" person.

Then we get the truth: Severus Snape was deathly in love with Lily Evans.

Shock of shocks.

After my initial reaction of denial, I realized how much sense it all made. Of course Snape was in love with her. Is there anything besides love that would cause a person like him to go against his own dark nature? What, other than love, could have convinced Dumbledore of the sincerity of such a troubled person?

The main theme of the Harry Potter series is love. How better to illustrate that theme than by giving the man we all loved to hate an undying, terrible, and unrequited love that would eventually redeem him from all the evil he had done? I don't believe he ever thought he was fully forgiven for the hurt he caused, but in sacrificing himself he absolved himself in my eyes. Severus Snape showed me how deep the theme runs in the series.

For example, in Sorcerer's Stone, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are convinced that Snape tried to kill Harry during a Quidditch game. We find out that isn't true. Snape saved Harry's life. Dumbledore tells Harry that it may have been because Snape felt he owed it to James. James saved Snape's life and now they were even.

"Well, they did rather detest each other. Not unlike yourself and Mr. Malfoy. And then, your father did something Snape could never forgive."

"What?"

"He saved his life."

"What?"

"Yes…" said Dumbledore, dreamily. "Funny, the way people's minds work, isn't it? Professor Snape couldn't bear being in your father's debt… I do believe he worked so hard to protect you this year because he felt that would make him and your father even. Then he could go back to hating your father's memory in peace…" (Sorcerer's Stone 300).

However, Snape's feelings towards James are quite clear. He blamed Harry's father for putting him in the situation in the first place.

"I would hate for you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter," he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. "Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you-your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn't got cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts (Prisoner of Azkaban 285)."

Saving Harry had nothing to do with James. Why would he save the child of his archrival? It makes sense now to say that he did it for Lily, but on first read, like Harry, we accepted Dumbledore's word as truth.

Another example of a "truth" that I assumed, was with Sirius. He was part of James' I-hate-Severus clique. That meant that Snape automatically hated him. Examining the scene at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban…

…Black started toward Snape, but Snape pointed his wand straight between Black's eyes.

"Give me a reason," he whispered. "Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I will."

Black stopped dead. It would have been impossible to say which face showed more hatred (Prisoner of Azkaban 359).

The schoolboy loathing carried over into their adulthood and Snape's bitterness is strong. The depth of the feelings, though, were too strong for simple anger for childhood wrongs. Severus would have killed Sirius in an instant. And why? Because Sirius killed people? Snape might've been on the side of good at that point, but I doubt that on a school feud alone, he'd sidestep the law and kill Sirius, himself. Once again, it was easy to assume that what we, as readers, were presented with was the absolute and plain truth. How wrong we were.

Examining this scene through Lily-colored glasses, the desire to take revenge on Sirius is seen in a whole new light. Severus saw the lowest dog in the world, who had helped murder the only person he every truly loved. Wouldn't you hate Sirius, too?

One more example to touch on is in Snape's worst memory. We are given to believe that it's his worst because of being bullied and embarrassed by James. But note the other very significant event here: Snape calls Lily a mudblood. Snape's worst memory, then, had very little to do with James and quite a lot to do with Lily. He felt shame for insulting her. Some of our lowest times are when we feel ashamed of things we've done. It was no wonder that he got so angry with Harry for seeing that, for seeing him hurt someone so dear to him.

And Lily was Snape's friend. She truly cared for him, unlike so many other people in his life. She had a bond with him and I think she clung to that especially after Petunia turned her back on her. She taught Snape what it meant to care for another, even if he didn't realize it until after she died.

If she hadn't befriended him showing him the way to care about others, he could not have cared about Lily's son. Perhaps she instinctively knew that he had a dark soul - not that he was bad, but that he was troubled and sad and could easily turn that into... well, the path to the dark side. He feared. Maybe she stuck it out with him for so long because of that, and because she cared so deeply for him. "...She might even have grown to love him romantically (she certainly loved him as a friend)…" (Bloomsbury, Rowling, July 30, 2007).

Lily held out hope that Severus would eventually see that people like Mulciber and Avery weren't good people. Until their fifth year at Hogwarts when he finally pushed too far and called her a mudblood, she kept up her friendship, explaining away bad behaviour and rudeness. Lily wanted to believe in her best friend.

It has been said that Snape was creepy and possessive, obsessed with his best friend. It's true that Snape exhibited signs - following her around, watching her, being overly concerned with her opinion of others - but when Lily rejected him and he did not attempt to force her to stay with him. Perhaps he thought he could win her over if he achieved enough power.

Let's pause for a moment and consider a couple of definitions from Merriam-Webster's Dictionary:

Obsession most often includes a feeling that the object reciprocates or acts only for the obsessor. Snape was persistent in his preoccupation with Lily but he didn't assume that she felt the same way. He was happy when she showed a lack of interest in James Potter.

"I didn't mean-I just don't want to see you made a fool of-He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" The words seemed wrenched from him against his will…

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Snape…

Harry doubted that Snape even heard her strictures on Mulciber and Avery. The moment she had insulted James Potter, his whole body had relaxed, and as they walked away there was a new spring in Snape's step (Deathly Hallows 674 - 675).

As for stalking, there is nothing in the series which would lead readers to believe that he exhibited typical stalker behavior. "…a stalker… harbors delusions that the victim is in love with him performs behaviors that are often similar to an ex-partner who seeks revenge for being rejected (www.stalkingbehavior.com)." After Snape calls her a mudblood, he made a last attempt at apologizing then he let her walk away. There is no psychotic break. He didn't try to kill her in order to possess her. When she married James, Severus didn't interfere. He let her go.

Snape held no delusions that Lily returned his feelings, but he did actually love her. In his memory shown Deathly Hallows, Severus begs Dumbledore to help, he admits he told Voldemort about the prophecy. He wants to save Lily, regardless of anyone else at first.

"…He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down - kill them all-"

"If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?"

"I have - I have asked him-"

"You disgust me," said Dumbledore… "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die as long as you have what you want?"

Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore.

"Hide them all, then," he croaked. "Keep her-them-safe. Please (Deathly Hallows 677-678)."

He tried to protect Lily and when he couldn't, he protected her son, despite all the personal pain and anguish of being around that boy. This conversation is a turning point for Snape in that he finally realizes that to love Lily and show that love, he needs to be concerned with the people that she loves.

"I wish… I wish I were dead…"

"And what use would that be to anyone?" said Dumbledore coldly. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

…There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. At last he said, "Very well. Very well (Deathly Hallows 678-679)."

It is so difficult when re-reading, to realize that Severus had a choice and he missed it. Therein lies the true tragedy. He could've stepped away from the power and the darkness of the Death Eaters and chosen the love of his life, instead. Had he made that decision, he might've married Lily. He might've been Harry's father.

That said, Severus Snape is the most pivotal character in the entire series. Because we know he loved Lily, we also know that he could've chosen the light instead of the dark…

Had he done so, the entire story would have fallen apart.

Some readers assume that it was Harry's capacity for love, etc., that brings about Voldemort's destruction. Sure. If Harry hadn't been willing (and groomed from a young age) the story would not have happened. But let's take into account that if Snape hadn't chosen power over love, Harry would never have had the choices he did.

Let's say Severus married Lily. In the midst of Voldemort's rule, Severus resists the lure of power and goes with his heart - they live in as much happiness as could be had at that time. There is never a prophecy. No one ever steps up to destroy Voldemort.

Voldemort rules the world and a lot of people die. The end.

Scary, isn't it?

I won't say that there was no other way to tell the story of Voldemort's downfall, but as we know it, without Severus Snape making the choices he made, the story couldn't exist. He had to go the way of power. He couldn't have Lily.

Snape was our inside guy. The only member of both camps who survived long enough to help Harry. He'd been on the side of Voldemort long enough that he was trusted and Voldemort (frequently) underestimated the idea of love so much that it allowed Severus to continue being "loyal" to him after Lily died.

The opposition needed that inside man. Dumbledore needed him. Think of the lives Snape saved: the children at Hogwarts. If nothing else, the good of being a double agent came when Dumbledore died and Severus took over as Headmaster. The students might have gotten a little beaten up, but they were safe, and I have no doubt that Snape turned a blind eye toward some of the students' activities.

In Order of the Phoenix, Harry thought Sirius had been caught by Voldemort. Imagine how much worse it would've been if Snape hadn't been around to alert the Order that the kids were headed to the Ministry. Without our double agent, how many of the children would've died? He couldn't save everyone he cared about, but he did save more than a few lives, including Harry's.

Snape begged Voldemort to spare Lily's life. This gave her time to get between Harry and Voldemort. If Snape hadn't loved her like he did, she would've been killed immediately, with no opportunity to sacrifice herself for Harry.

No Harry-horcrux. No years of respite for the world. No heroes to save wizard- and muggle-kind. We have Severus Snape and his tragedy to thank for all of it.

In his life, Severus Snape was abused, rejected, tormented. The bright part of his life, Lily, was obscured by her death - something he could have prevented if he had only seen earlier what his choices would cost. He lived with that for the rest of his life.

He lived with regret, remorse and the pain of knowing that he was instrumental in Lily's death. Maybe he spent the rest of his life trying to make up for it, never believing that he could. The intricacies and complexities of Snape could (and probably will) fill several books.

Severus Snape had a great capacity for caring. This is proven in the fact that he sacrificed himself for someone else - for someone who reminded him of both a love and a hate. Through loss and pain, and choices good and bad, this character reflects the ultimate theme of our beloved Harry Potter series: Love.

From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

"After all this time?"

"Always," said Snape.

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